Arsenal vs. Cardiff City: Having and Wearing the Blues

"I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women:  suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it."

The words above form the ominous opening of Nick Hornby's debut novel Fever Pitch.  

Most American readers of this blog will immediately associate Fever Pitch with the 2005 movie in which Jimmy Fallon portrays an obsessed Boston Red Sox fan.  But the original story was actually about Hornby's own life and his relationship with Arsenal.  Colin Firth was the lead in the 1997 movie version of the book.

Melancholin Firth

I was excited to read Fever Pitch because I thought it would provide some perspective on why the world, or at least one man, is so crazy about the Premier League.  Instead, I got an education in living with addiction and depression.

In the book, Hornby documents moments both significant and mundane in his life as they coincide with Arsenal matches.  I say "coincide", but at some point Hornby's life and Arsenal's matches more aptly "coalesce".

The book opens in 1968 with the divorce of Hornby's parents and his father's attempt to bond with his 11 year old introverted son at a soccer match (Arsenal vs. Stoke City).  The quote below sums up the book and its tone fairly well:

"I just didn't want to have fun at football.  I had fun everywhere else, and I was sick of it.  What I needed more than anything was a place where unfocused unhappiness could thrive, where I could be still and worry and mope; I had the blues, and when I watched my team I could unwrap them and let them breathe a little."

You could probably replace every instance of "Arsenal" with "alcohol" and have a book that any alcoholic would recognize as their own life story.  I give the book 3 stars out of 5.  Check it out if you're a diehard Arsenal fan or if you are trying to find a way to deal with your own substance abuse demons.

Oof, sorry.  I didn't mean for the book review to be such a downer.  It is however a fitting introduction to this blog post.  Not just because the Bluebirds faced the Gunners this week, but also because I'm starting to empathize with Hornby's fandom-sans-pleasure...

Cardiff City 0 - Arsenal 2

• Bendtner (ARS) 88'
• Walcott (ARS) 90'

I'm shaking my head as I type this portion of the post.  Last week, Cardiff City blew a 2-0 lead against Sunderland in the last ten minutes of the match.  This week, they blew a 0-0 draw in the last five minutes of the match.

Awful.

It all started so well, with the Bluebirds looking truly impressive on defense.  Goalkeeper David Marshall was excellent as always.

Somewhere around the 80th minute I genuinely started to believe that this match would end in a miraculous tie.  

And that's when injury-laden Arsenal decided to prove why they are the League leaders...

No goalkeepers were injured in the taking of this nasty shot (Image credit unlisted)

Gunners Nicklas Bendtner and Theo Walcott's goals came in such quick succession that I didn't have enough time to finish my new catchphrase, "Goddammit, Cardiff!"

I suppose if I was looking for a positive in this wasted opportunity it would be that at least the Bluebirds only lost by two goals this time around as opposed to three back in November.

At one point in Fever Pitch, Hornby explains, "For a match to be really, truly memorable, the kind of game that sends you home buzzing inside with the fulfillment of it all, you require as many of the following features as possible..."

1. Goals, as many as possible
2. Outrageously bad refereeing decisions preferably with Arsenal as the recipient
3. A noisy crowd
4. Rain
5. Opposition misses a penalty
6. Member of opposition receives a red card
7. Some kind of "disgraceful incident"   

By that definition, this particular match was less memorable and more vague sense of déjà vu.

I take my earlier statement back. The true positive was item 3 in the above list, though not in the way Hornby intended.  The Arsenal fans were completely silent for the majority of the match.  The Cardiff City fans, as always, were unquestionably the most vocal and supportive group I've ever heard.  Makes me proud to be a Bluebirds fan.

Yes, I consider myself a fan.  You know who else is a fan?  The lead singer of Dodgem-X, Jody Davies (@jodylaforge), that's who!

I don't know if Bargoed has a mayor, but if so please elect this man already!

Thanks for the game pics, bud.  Maybe you can explain to me why Hornby bothered including item 4 in his list?  As best I can tell, rain is the normal condition in Britain and sun is the anomaly.

That covers the main event, but let's take a peek at the sideshow...

Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design.  Your friends, up there on the sanctuary moon, are walking into a trap, as is your Rebel fleet.  (Image credit unlisted)

You'd be excused if you didn't recognize any of the three gentlemen in the forefront of this picture.  Starting from the right, that's Cardiff City Chairman Mehmet Dalman.  Next is Malky Mackay's replacement Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (OGS).  More on him in a moment.

Perhaps the least recognizable is the gentleman on the far left side of the picture.  That's actually Vincent Tan, cleverly disguised in a blue sweater.  This is even more baffling of a scene if you consider that Cardiff City once again wore their blue away jerseys during this week's match.  Miracles abound.

Like it or not, Malky Mackay is gone and his replacement has been hired.  OGS was very carefully targeted, not just because of his managerial talents during his time in Norway, but also because of the image he projects:

1. He is a former Manchester United player (Malky was a former member of lowly Norwich City)
2. He is a former striker (Malky was a defender)
3. He has an attacking coaching style, or at least that's what he advertises (Malky either through preference or necessity put forth a definitively defensive team)

It will be very exciting to see how this staff change plays out next week when OGS has his Premier League coaching debut against West Ham United.

OGS' newly-adopted Bluebirds are in 17th place with 4 wins, 6 draws, and 10 losses.  The table below captures the full Premier League standings as of 01/07/14.  The table columns are:  Current Position (POS), Last Position (LP), Club Name (CLUB), Matches Played (P), Wins (W), Draws (D), Losses (L), Goals Fielded (GF), Goals Allowed (GA), Goal Differential (GD), and Rankings Points (PTS).

Alas, Cardiff have dropped one slot lower.  But keep the faith, they're not yet in the relegation zone!

On to fantasy news.  The Cardiff'rent Strokes had a very slight dip this past week, but still are doing pretty well in the global league.

• Rank (Last Week):  1,249,029
• Rank (This Week):  1,271,016
• Total Players:  3,136,073

I do have the option at any point in the month of January to jettison my entire team and start over.  That option is called a "wildcard", which make me laugh because one of my most famous moments in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is when Charlie screams "Wildcard, bitches!" after having cut the brakelines on a van filled with gasoline as it speeds towards a building.

Well that's it for this week readers.  Cardiff City's next match is on January 11th.  They will host West Ham United in a rematch of the Bluebirds very first Premier League match.  Here's hoping for some sweet revenge against the truly woeful Hammers.

Thank you for reading and don't forget to follow me on Twitter @dragon_bluebird!  Please also follow @DodgemXofficial and be sure to check them out on iTunes.